So how did you get here?

[Mary Ann]

Chris had a remark in a post below that got me to thinking. She said she knew she could do this because she didn't need the fat anymore.

Sometimes it's that simple.

What's your story? How did you get your extra weight, and what purpose did it serve for you? Why do you not need it anymore?

[Newfygirl]

I don't know! When I was in college I was barely over 100 lbs. 15 years later all the sudden I'm here. How'd that happen?? ACK!

Since I became horseless, I suddenly seem to have lost a ton of muscle tone. I want to gain muscle and lose this belly roll.

[DorothyB]

I was pretty slim up until I got married. Maybe stress? or just getting older?

One of the things I've always done (remember doing this back in 7th grade) when stressed is escape by eating & reading. I guess when I was younger, my body could handle it.

I don't know that the fat has ever served a purpose for me - don't think I was hiding.

[Chrisnstar]

I've battled weight all my life, I'm the classic yo yo dieter. I started dieting when I was 17 weighed 119 and my mother put me on the scale in front of her friends and chided me for gaining weight. It was humiliating.

Well, fast forward 35 years, I've gained and lost hundreds of pounds, litereally, each time gaining back more, until I ended up weighing exactly double what I started at when I was 17.

As for this current weight gain? It started after I blew out a lower lumbar disk. It took nearly a year to heal it and I had to quit running. Up until that point, I ran almost every day, at least 3 miles.

The lowest blow though was about 5 years into our marriage and I cried and begged Ray to please give me some physical affection. He said he wasn't attracted to me anymore because of my weight.

It was like getting socked in the gut. The same feeling you get when you find out your husband is cheating.

Intellectually, I know it was because of his drinking and drugging. He simply couldn't He had tried a few times and failed and gave up. But the words stung nonetheless.

After that, i just kept gaining and gaining.

But now, I don't need the fat. I'm starting a new life. I'm going to be Chris again and enjoy being me.

chris

[Deleted]

I guess we all carry baggage from our childhood. Some carry it emotionally, I preferred to carry mine in my fat cells
I could share stories similar to Chris's (or worse maybe) and why I ADORE food. Worshiped it even. And to this day if I can see wall space behind the cabinets I panic and must go food shopping. It's not an addiction, it's a need or a must. I'm a worrier by nature and stress over things needlessly. This adds to my unhealthy eating. I'd rather distract my mind with food then unpleasant thoughts maybe. I now keep better "over-thinking" foods around. It's really that simple in that case.

But, that said, I'm not broken LOL I understand why I do the things I do and I hold the right person responsible and have no doubt there's a special place in hell for them.

The weight I'm at now is a peak weight. I've reached the end of my denial rope *giggle* I can't deny things don't fit well if at all. I can't deny I haven't seen my collar bones in, oooooh, I don't know when. I can't deny that I REALLY dislike the HUGE mirror in my bathroom, or rather the large person looking back at me in it. My joints aren't great anyway so carrying the weight makes it that much worse. It's all good, I'm game to succeed and will.

It's not about my tummy anymore, it's about my mind!

[LoriB]

I dunno.

Mostly laziness.

I know how to eat right. I know how I feel when I eat right.

But then, somehow, LIFE gets in the way.

And it becomes easier to grab a sandwich and crackers. And, more crackers. And maybe some pretzels than to take the 15 minutes or so it takes to make a great salad.

Then, the bad habits take over and it is hard to keep them away.

I don't intend to let that happen again.

[denise]

I have never been a small person because of my bone structure and when I hit puberty, geez but I was not "fat," just big. I remember my girlfriend at the time and I decided that we had to use babysitting money to buy matching outfits since we spent so much time together we might as well look like twins.....she was a brunette, me a blonde, yeah twins. We went shopping together and we bought our cute little matching shorts and shorty top. She looked so cute and thin and I looked like a beach whale. I cringe when I look at those pictures.

I put on a huge amount of weight after hubby and I got married. I have to blame it on Persian food, lack of exercise because I was working my first real full time job which I hated and a long, miserable commute. I lost all of it within 3 months of my hubby buying me my first horse for our first anniversary. I was always at the barn riding her. Then I had kids.

As I mentioned to Bluemouse in her post, after my second son was born, I had lost so much weight that I weighed 5 lbs less than I had in high school....I was not fat in high school but I looked so big next to my friends. I remember my first boyfriend making a comment to me about my weight when I climbed on his motorcycle. I ignored him and I didn't take it personally because I knew I was not fat, and I was probably fitter than him because I used to ride my bike to work 5+ miles each way every day at that point.

I think I can tie my weight gain this time to going back to work and my children. Stress and I don't make good company and my work and my children can cause me a lot of stress. I don't run to food for comfort - I can actually take it or leave it. I did have a tendency to not eat and then I would get sooooo hungry that no matter how much I ate, I couldn't get full. I have tried to stop that but sometimes it still happens (Monday). So rather than watch the clock to pop a pill, I try to watch the clock to make sure I put something in my mouth.

I also have some kind of issue going on with my body that no matter what I do, I don't lose weight but I am sure developing some mighty fine calves and hopefully sooner rather than later, the tight calves look will move a little farther north.

[KarenN]

hmmm - always had weight issues, I blame it on being a Norwegian! We have to have that extra layer to stay warm, doncha know!

Actually, looking back, I was always big, but not fat - I THOUGHT I was fat, but I wasn't. I have a large body structure and football lineman shoulders, so I was not built like my delicate friends and growing up on the So CA beaches, it made me very self conscious!

Now I look back at photos of me from teen years and just after my marraige and wonder how I could ever have thought I was FAT?

Oh well. I gained my weight very slowly after my second child. I didn't have Ian till I was 37, so baby fat plus normal middle age spread caught up with me. And I have real "desk job" for the first time in my life. Always before I was very active in my jobs in one way or another, and even the first 5 years here was much more active, but they installed this "wonderful" new system where I can take over any user's computer from my desk, so no more running up and down staris from building to buliding for me to answer help calls - gee I can do it all from my computer - yeah I'm more productive, but I miss the activity and the social interaction

And then to top everything off when I broke my back I became somewhat sedentary while I was healing, and that really through my metabolism in a tail spin! I've gotten some of that off, but then it just creeps back when I'm not paying attention

Or I could just say, I love good food.

[Sarah]

I think a lot of it was self image issues on my part...

I look good at 175 because of my bone structure but because it didn't look right on the scales I thought of myself as fat...

I also love food and eat when I'm depressed...

My failed marriage...lack of affection from my ex as well as his constant verbal and physical abuse...and my back problems have also led to the weight gain...

Honestly I quit easily (when it doesn't come to the animals) and I've tried and failed at loosing weight for many many years now to the point that I'm tired of being me...tired of being fat... so I have forced myself to change so that I will be around to watch my kids grow up...

I refuse to say what I weigh but I have lost 15 pounds since the 1st of Jan and my goal weight is 175 (college weight) I have a l o n g way to go but I will get there this time and then I will stay there. I don't want to be an embarassement to my children anymore

[Sheryl]

This doesn't have a single answer. In my case, we have a family predisposition/genetic tendency to extra weight. We also had a dad that used food as part of his emotional manipulation of the family (his baggage I am sure came from going hungry as a small child during the 30s). We were also raised working physically very hard and eating big to go along with it. My mom was only 20-30 pounds overweight, but was a famous dieter. She was able to change her eating habits when she was late 40s and maintained that the rest of her life (as a result of a false alarm about diabetes that scared her), but by then the pattern was set. I think I started dieting in elementary school. So, to me, the short answer is that diets make you gain weight!

At some point in my adult life, I pretty much moved beyond having emotional reasons for keeping the extra weight - you know all the fat as protection stuff. By that time, it had become more of a habit and fitness issue. Certain foods release endorphins and it really works for me as a stress reliever and that old habit is hard to break. The fitness side is a vicious circle, you don't have to overeat by much to keep extra weight (or gain more) which makes you feel like being less active, you lose muscles mass, etc etc. Pretty soon, somehow I became an extremely easy keeper who likes sweets, good food and some fine spirits to go with it all and since diets make me gain weight, had a regular cycle of adding pounds to the baseline!

I am thinking of that fat pony who snatches food throughout the day (and is pretty dang good at getting the good morsels), eats the well deserved treats, doesn't really work that hard (physically) and nobody can figure out how she got so round.

[Trailpal]

Stress, anxiety, stuff like that. I often eat as a way to "self-medicate". I used to drink for that reason, but with all the alcoholics in my family, I had to just flat out quit drinking.

I feel like most of the elements of my life are out of control and it panics me. Right now, I'm thinking hey, I can control what I eat and how I exercise (except for that rotten snow & ice, I can't get out and walk). But like the serenity prayer, I'm trying take useful control where I can. And maybe I can feel ok about not having control in other areas too.

I also have chemical brain issues - I was on ssri anti-depressants and they helped, but as might be expected, there were other effects that I didn't like. I found that carbs really screw around with my seretonin and dopamine, and of course that's what I love to eat. So, I can help my mood and my weight at the same time, a kind of good circular re-inforcement, once I can break the bad part of the cycle.

[snaffle]

I never had a weight problem before I got married. inlaws were very obese (not before they got married!)
they ate high fat.. few vegies.. fewer fruit... grease grease and more grease..
food was their recreation. excercise was raising the fork.
when we would order pizza.. they gobbled it as fast as they could and if I didnt grab and eat ... I wouldnt have gotten more than one slice.
now I try to only eat one piece.

married to a mama's boy (he really is a good person) made me eat for something happy sometimes..

I eat when I am happy... eat when I am sad... eat when I get angry...

BUT when I get the weight off... I have the world by the tail!!!
I can walk past the best chocolate and not feel hungry!!


NOTHING TASTES AS GOOD AS THIN FEELS ;D