Hey Sheryl (However you are logged in)

[linda]

I want to clarify my post on the other forum. It sounds to me like you are very new into horses. I am a little bit concerned that in some ways, your trainer may be taking advantage of your lack of experience. I have been at this a long, long time--like over 50 years. I have seen a lot of kids who think they might be interested in horses lose interest because of structure. And it isn't just with horses--those same kids are in music, tennis, gymnastics and all other competitive fields. There is a fine line there between helping the kid have a great time and improve their skills and in making someone else's ambition the idea of the kid.

Trainers often make a large percentage of their income by looking at horses/finding horses for people. Not that having your trainer look at a horse is a bad thing--because the experienced evaluation is important. And maybe I am reading into your post about a horse for your son.

My intentions are honorable--I want your son to have a great and safe time. I really could care less what he learns, as long as he has fun and is kind to the horses. I just love those pictures KarenN posted of her kids and their rescue horses and how her older son offered to feed everyone so she could go to town. She seems to have some real magic going there that, to me, is far more important than any technical skill that could be learned through formal lessons.

No offense was intended. I hope I didn't come across as being too prying or interfering.
Linda

[Sheryl as guest]

It is difficult to explain everything about a situation in a few posts on a bulletin board. If anything, I wish my trainer would do more to help us...lol. She does not find horses for her clients, but she will evaluate one that we have picked out to help prevent mistakes.

I pay her by the lesson (usually 2-4x a month TOTAL between my son and I, sometimes even less) so we are hardly her major source of income. Lessons for my son consist of how to steer, how to signal the horse with the leg, how to control a horse, how to deal with behavioral things that come up. Lessons for me are a little more advanced - teaching me how to train my horse basically. My trainer didn't do the work - I did.

My son doesn't take lessons in anything else besides riding. Most of the "lessons" he has taken on horseback have actually been from me, just working with him on the basics of horse care and safe riding. Often, we would just ride around in the arena (winter you know). I don't want him to have a bad experience, I don't want him to get hurt and I want him to ride a suitable horse. Just haven't quite figured out how much I want to invest in that (not talking just money, it is lots of time and your heart too). The part lease we were doing was a good arrangement, the horse was safe, but just became to cantakerous to be fun so we stopped. The trainer had no financial interest in that arrangement (again, I wish she DID have a good horse that she would part lease to us).

We share arena time with other people. Having some degree of control over your horse is a safety issue. When I was a kid, I often rode my ponies in just their halters running all over the farm. It isn't like that on other people's farm.

I love that Karen and others are able to rescue horses. I don't have the experience or facilities to rescue them myself though. I pay the same board for a ready to go rideable horse as I do a project. Maybe someday, we can do more, but for now, I have to make horses fit into our life. I am not sure what I said that somehow led you to think I am against people finding terrific horses down on their luck.

I am not offended, I am sure that my style of communication has somehow led you to a different conclusion then the actual situation. I am not such a bad person and I take very good care of my children and do the best I can with my horse too.

[linda]

Agree, communication is hard when about 75% of our comphrension is taken away--visual cues, tone, speed, all the good things that we use that really are more important than the usual words. Often it just doesn't come across as well as we meant it to--or as clearly. I wish you only the best. Linda