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Post by Chrisnstar on Jan 31, 2005 11:56:11 GMT -5
Oh the poor kids! I'm glad they are settling in and your life is somewhat routine again.
My guess is the kids are so starved for attention and their lives have been so topsy turvy that anything that resembles comfort and love, they crave. I imagine with time, the jealousy will subside, when they learn that they have some security in your home.
chris
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Post by wildfire on Jan 31, 2005 12:03:10 GMT -5
food when they are "doing better."
These kids have been starved; for attention (Whereas YOUR kids were not.)
My 2 cents worth:
Start consistently doing things that TEACH consideration and sharing. (It’s funny to me, when people want their children to “share” then TEACH them to be selfish. “That is YOUR drink!”)
For an example of teaching consideration and sharing:
Take ONE candy bar.
One child “Gets the HONOR” of breaks the candy bar in half, the other child get to pick THEIR half FIRST.
When you give them cookies or snacks: One “Gets the Honor” of getting the treats from you to pass out. (Meaning the Honored one takes the treat from your hand, and gives the first treat to the other. The Honored one gets their treat last for getting the HONOR of passing out the treats.)
They want your attention? GREAT!
Channel that need into a productive direction!
“You want my attention, I have to clean stalls. I KNOW! You can have my attention by helping clean stalls!” (Yes, you can do it quicker by yourself. But NOW is when you build the productive teenager and later ADULT!)
“You want my attention? GREAT! You can help clear the table, and MAYBE help with the dishes!”<br>Be consistent!
REWARD right!
NEVER reward wrongful behavior!
If you give them a choice, NEVER give them a “Correct choice” and a “WRONG choice” choice! (“Do you want to help me clean stalls, or just sit on the couch and eat ice cream?”)
GIVE them instead WIN/WIN choices. (“Do you want to help me do the dishes, or do you want to help me sweep the floor?”)
As with horses: Apply the First Rule of Nature; EVERYTHING takes the path of least resistance.
Make the RIGHT (desired) thing easier to choose than the wrong thing, if the wrong thing is difficult/annoying/painful/aggravating, they will learn to do what is right.
I give you a gold star for the GREAT job, and noble kindness you have shown!
There you have my humble 2 cents worth.
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