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Post by trigger on Jan 25, 2005 11:06:05 GMT -5
Now, that is really crummy. I can't imagine using kids to play games like that. Does your Mom just need a break, or does she really want to be free of the poor little girl? (((hugs))) to you for all you are doing. I can't imagine the position it has put you in. Those poor kids. They didn't ask for any of this.  |
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Post by KarenN on Jan 25, 2005 14:13:22 GMT -5
More hugs and prayers coming your way, Tricia, Bless you for what you are doing already. I pray that all this works out for Cassie as well....
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Post by Chrisnstar on Jan 25, 2005 14:20:09 GMT -5
Oh DEAR! That really bites. I'm so sorry for all this mess you have to deal with. And sorry for the children involved.
chris
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Post by bluemouse on Jan 25, 2005 14:54:24 GMT -5
Tricia, I'm so sorry you're dealing with this! Do you have kids of your own? You're sure being thrown in the deep end on this one! Bless you for taking these poor little ones. They are in desperate need of stability and love in their lives and you are surely getting stars in your crown for giving them what they need. (Not that that's why you're doing it!  ) I can empathize with your frustration - my sister is a complete and total mess too, and is constantly fobbing off her children on anyone who will take them. She loves being pregnant and having babies, but then she can't stand raising them. My mother is raising my niece, who's 14. My sister's ex-husband has the three kids they had together. Her 3 1/2 year old son bounces between us and her current almost ex - she can't seem to make up her mind whether to divorce him or not. It's an awful mess and I know exactly how frustrated and stressed you must be feeling right now. Praying for you! Halcyon |
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Post by bluemouse on Jan 25, 2005 15:13:43 GMT -5
Oh, I understand completely! We'd take any of Becca's kids if we were needed - but she hates our father and blames him for "ruining" her life, so won't let Mum and Dad raise Baby Jake, her 3 year old. Sorry - I remember now you mentioned Amanda's birthday earlier. My mind for details has a few holes in it these days. |
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Post by Chrisnstar on Jan 25, 2005 17:47:10 GMT -5
Ugh, your poor family and those kids!!! Hang in there Tricia!
We have gone through something similar with John's mother who is a bipolar drug addict flako.
chris
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Post by Chrisnstar on Jan 25, 2005 19:52:30 GMT -5
repeat to yourself, "this too shall pass," "this too shall pass".
things are ugly now because of the newness of the situation and the crisis. It will smooth out eventually!
chris
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Post by lesfire on Jan 26, 2005 0:07:52 GMT -5
Tricia, I know you probably don't want to hear this, but I kind of hope you end up with Cassie too. If your mother is irresponsible enough to let Misty take her then maybe she would be better off with you also. I know it is tough on you and it isn't fair, but it would be better than her going to strangers in my opinion and if I was in your situation and there was any way I could take her I would. Really you've already opened your home to two little ones One more probably wouldn't be that much worse. This is a terrible situation and a huge hardship on you. I understand that. You shouldn't have to do any of this, you should get to do normal aunt things with them not be their mother. Their mother and father should be raising them not you. But the fact is that you ended up as the only responsible grownup in your family from the sounds of it and that means sometimes things will be tougher on you than anyone. I'll be praying that God give you the strength to see this through and that the best thing happens for all involved. ((((HUGS)))) you are a saint.
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Post by Mary Ann on Jan 26, 2005 9:23:18 GMT -5
Tricia, when it gets right down to it, it gets pretty simple. First, what your mother did in giving Cassie back war wrong. And she knows it too, or she wouldn't be so hot about it. All one has to do is behave above reproach, and then one doesn't get any reproach. Your mama dropped the ball on this.
I implore you, don't get angry. Just keep your center. Let the waters swirl around you, but remain unaffected. Be guided by what you know to be right, and remain true to that. The authorities and the children will quickly see who is the island of sanity. And just do the best you can with what you have at the time.
It's pretty sad that children will almost always want to be with their parents, regardless of how dysfunctional their parents are. We crave the approval and nurturing of those who brought us into the world, even if they never give it, and someone else is offering it lavishly. If your loving care is ultimately rejected one day, it's not about you. It's about this need kids have.
I commend you for your unselfishness, your kindness and love for these little children. I hope so much that things work out that you can keep them until their mama gets her life straight, and I pray she really does that. I pray she gets a great counselor that helps her clean up, that allows her to see the beautiful children in front of her, and the wonderful, loving, steadfast sister who jumped in and willingly helped her out in her greatest time of need.
And if it never works out that way, I pray they settle in your stable, loving care and thrive.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~serenityforTricia~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Post by Chrisnstar on Jan 26, 2005 9:44:42 GMT -5
Oh, Tricia. I hope you keep Mary Ann's message. I asked a woman one time how she kept so calm in the face of so much stuff going on around her...
she told me, "I just let the whirling dervishes whirl"...
Feel free to vent to us. This is a big load you are carrying. But there is help out there for you too....hang in there!
chris
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Post by Chrisnstar on Jan 26, 2005 10:33:16 GMT -5
Tricia, you can't be responsible for other people's thoughts, feelings and actions. This is a good time to turn your mother, sister and others over to your HP and let Him deal with them. You have work to do with those children. You can't let the others sap your energy and strength.
One thing I'm finally getting through my thick skull is that expectations are resentments waiting to happen. If I expect people to behave the way I want them to, and then they don't, I'm disappointed, unhappy and resentful. In reality, the behavior is typical for them and I shouldn't expect anything else out of them, or I'll be setting myself up for disappointment.
I know this is extremely frustrating for you. But remember, you are in the crisis stage of this situation right now. It WILL get better. Your sister and her SO have hired a lawyer, so what! A good lawyer will tell them that they had better get their acts together!
When I was getting a divorce, I was completely out of my mind with worry because my DH had hired a well known family law specialist who also was speaker of the house in the Kansas Legislature. A very high powered attorney.
Well, Mr. High powered attorney told my husband to quit whining, pay his child support and be a father! He also dropped my husband as a client for non payment. All my worries were wasted energy!
In the end, my husband never even showed up for our court date and the judge awarded me everything I asked for!
Good luck sweetie! We're all in your corner!
chris
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