Alright, the initial Weigh in!

[Mary Ann]

R4F, that's an excellent point. And I think in Marci's case it isn't even malevolent. Her mom probably equates food with love, and offering Marci things she thinks she'd enjoy is a way of being nice to her. Lots of people confuse that one, with no malice whatsoever.

My hubby's one like that. He just likes to be nice to me. He likes to take me out to dinner, and once a week he cooks for me. Last week it was a gorgeous lasagna from scratch, but I'm going to have to tell him he can't do that anymore. See, some time ago I got sick of menu planning and told him that he's a good cook; he could cook one night a week. It could be whatever he felt like, and I wouldn't care. It could be a peanut butter sandwich or something fancy; just whatever he wanted to cook, and I'd eat it happily. He's been great about it. But now I'm going to have to tell him that I need something very low cal/high nutrition, and if it doesn't sound like fun to him I've got 100% of the cooking responsibilities back.

[MJ]

Some of the older generations, like my grandmother and my mother, feel like they must offer you food. My grandmother, in particular, did not feel like she was being a good host if she did not make you your favorite food. I think it is all in the way they were taught.

[Lindanshadow]

Ok, I am really wanting to start to get healthy and in shape for the up coming riding season. I would really like to lose about 20lbs just to feel better. I am at my heaviest weight ever but I know you guys are going to say that I am not heavy. I weighed myself 2 weeks ago and I was at 162. I am 5'5". I have always been the "skinny one" and it is really hard for me to be 162. Yesterday I weighed in at 158. So I am on my way! I have been lurking on this thread to get some ideas on getting healthy and have gotten quite a few.
I admire all of you for what you are doing. I know it is hard and doesn't come easy. I think with all the support we all can reach our goals.
Thanks
Linda H.

[MJ]

Lindanshadow, if I had gotten control when I only had 20 lbs to lose, I would never have gotten into this shape. Hats off to you for taking control now.

MJ

[Lindanshadow]

Thanks!
Linda H.

[Sheryl]

Linda,
I can relate to what you're saying and I think it is marvelous that you are tackling those 20# now.

[Stephanie]

Well, my starting weight in October was 151, I'm now down to 143, I need to make either a fit 140 (right now I am unfit, lol) or an unfit 135 for my wedding dress to fit the way I want it too.

I think it takes a lot of courage for those at the higher weights to do this, and really do it seriously. I know that I felt completely overwhelmed with needing to lose just ten pounds to fit back into my clothes, it took me gaining another five to really motivate myself and even then I went a little higher before I finally kicked myself in the butt enough to actually do it. I think this board is a great idea to help everyone along, I'm really looking forward to seeing everyone's progress.

[Marci]

MA maybe if you helped him by giving him a new cookbook of how to make the things he loves to cook, but in a new and lighter way? It might inspire him? It never hurts to tell him that you only want to look your best for him. And if he still balks you know one day a week isn't bad, just eat smaller portions of the good stuff. We also go out to dinner once a week and I kinda save myself all day to do so. But I look forward to it, and it really doesn't seem like such a sacrifice. a 1/2 a sandwich instead of a whole that day, a big salad with a small portion of the rich food. But then too it might get harder the further along I go on this diet as I will get less points to spend. Oh and one thing I read is its not a good idea to only eat so many calories every day, then the body sets itself to get by on that amount. You have to fool it in to thinking its got enough of everything it needs or wants and then diet in between. So maybe one high calorie day a week is a good idea? I know wine every day is NOT a good idea to lose weight for me. I had one glass of wine 3 days in a row and I did a quick mid week weigh in and had gained weight. So wine on date night only for me. boy this dieting stuff is really a balancing act isn't it?
And yes, getting started is the hardest part of all, I think its a mind frame you have to get into-and them hold rigid until its habit.

[Mary Ann]

LOL! Marci, I forget that you don't *really* know me. If you came into my diningroom you could count the cookbooks. They're on eleven shelves and a chair and are spilling into the next room--- there are more than 300. I LOVE to cook. There are about half a dozen WW ones, as well as other healthy ones like Covert Bailey's book. He can look at them any time he chooses, but he has to choose to. He often cooks a lot by the seat of his pants, just like me.

And the part about dieting to look better for him??! OMG, he knows me better than that. ;D I do it FOR ME. He's always been very accepting of me, no matter what I weigh. He has never once in 29 years criticized my weight. If I told him I was dieting to look better for him, he'd burst out laughing. We've had a joke for years that I'm his trophy wife.

I'm in kind of a bind here. I have a smallish body in under all that fat, and a sluggish metabolism. And menopause. So I dare not exceed my 850-1200 calorie a day limit. I know that sounds extreme, but many years of experience have shown me that's my limits. If I do, I gain. I can easily maintain on 1500. I'll gain at 2000. And I'm hypoglycemic. That's why I'm such a goose about nutrition; I have to be or I don't feel good enough to ride. Lots of the recipes in even the WW books are too high calorie for me. If I tell him something like grilled fish and a plain veggie, he can do that, but I hate to tell him what to do. If he makes his mind up to make something, he'll go buy the ingredients that afternoon, rather than let his choices be shaped by what's in the house. So not having high calorie foods in the house doesn't help.

I have to leave it up to him. If he can cook some light things like plain fish and steamed veggies, I can let him keep going. But if he doesn't want to, I sure won't force him. I'll just do the cooking all the time.

Worse things have happened. Like killing myself dieting all week only to have any progress I've made blown in a single meal. THAT'S a pisser.

[Trailpal]

MA - maybe your hubby would appreciate a read of "You: on a diet" so he can see what you're working with? He may consider it a bit of a fluff read (I got tired of the cutesy stuff, but the technical points they were making made a lot of sense and gave me a frame to put the parts I already knew about on.) Just a thought...

[DorothyB]

marci said:

Oh and one thing I read is its not a good idea to only eat so many calories every day, then the body sets itself to get by on that amount. You have to fool it in to thinking its got enough of everything it needs or wants and then diet in between. So maybe one high calorie day a week is a good idea?

I've read this also. Because of this, and because it fits more realistically into my lifestyle, I base my weekly eating plan on an average of 1,625? calories per day, but 5 days are lower (maybe 1,550? - it is at home), one day is slightly higher and the 7th day is even higher. I typically use the 7th day for Sunday as I usually go out to eat that day. I think it would be best if the other higher day were not next to Sunday, but sometimes it just is.

[Mary Ann]

I agree. That's why I fluctuate between 850 and 1200. I can maintain on 1500, but time and experiencs has shown me that on 2000 I gain. And one high calorie day a week makes me not lose anything at all; it wipes out the whole week, and I have to start over.

Remember, I'm small. I'm 5'3" with a small to medium frame. Just a lot of upholstery on it.

[Sheryl]

I am a believer in fluctuating your daily intake. There are probably good metabolic reasons for it, but mine is a different reason.

Many years ago, I lost weight doing "my own thing" and fell into a routine of eating more or less the same food each day. I don't mean exactly the same, but pretty close, and certainly maintaining the same calories. At the time, an older and wiser woman I knew tried to point out that wasn't real life for the long run, but I was losing weight so well, that I was afraid to mess with it. Well, the moment I stopped that disciplined approach, I regained. it was inevitable that I would not be able to keep it up, because it lacked enough variety or ability to accomodate real life changes. Basically, as soon as I moved and changed jobs, all my patterns were broken and I didn't have a workable plan anymore.

Of course, that can happen with any "diet" you follow.

I am trying to use the encompassing weight watchers program, which is WAY more then counting points, to make lifestyle changes. I have done WW before, and have done the "it's all about the points" approach and it really is different to accept and follow the entire program, not just counting points.

I think you can do this with any good program, really make more sweeping changes to your approach to nutrition, lifestyle and fitness and most importantly, attitude.

In practical terms, this means I allow for higher food intake days - generally planned, and not out of control, but as part of an overall healthier diet. This might mean a night out, it might just be steak and potatos for dinner at home or pizza with the kids. I also listen more to my own hunger messages. If I am really hungry, I eat - I am not comfortable depriving myself. That may sound obvious, but I have struggled with excess weight most of my life, and have been conditioned through dieting to swing between a "deprive" ie diet or "excess" ie not eating healthy mode.

[Marci]

LOL sounds like my advice won't help at all. Bummer. You know my hubby has done almost a 180 since I started back on WW? I guess it really bugged him.
Well what about when you have 3 or is it 4 ride able horse to ride every day? do you have to watch what you eat then? I found if I work from sunup to sundown I can pretty much eat anything I want and lose weight. LOL And riding 4 horses would be able that for me.
I find it so interesting though what works for one person doesn't necessarily mean it will for the next. Like one large meal a week doesn't wipe out my whole week. Its amazing how different we all are.

[Mary Ann]

You know, when I get a whole lot closer to my goal I won't mind wiping out a week here and there to have a life. It'll be okay. Just not right now. When I have more horses to work (like in May/June) I don't have to watch as closely, but I do still have to be careful. (History has shown me that I can eat most anything I want and maintain (but not lose) if I have nine horses a day to work, but I don't want to work that hard anymore.) The good news is things don't spiral out of control quite so quickly. I'll have five to ride or work, as well as Zanetta and her baby midsummer, and I should have my garden well underway. I loff gardening! It's excellent exercise, very relaxing, and you get great organic veggies as a bonus!

Oh and Sheryl, I don't let myself get hungry. I just have teensy mouse snacks to deal with it. And I try and make sure that every bite I take is nutritious; I don't have enough calories to spare on anything frivolous.

And you're right; it is a lifestyle. I did it before and maintained it for years. I can do this.