Dragging my feet, but I've gotta put my dog down.

[Mary Ann]

The cortisone helped him get to his feet, but with a ton of effort. And when he's there, he can only track sort of sideways at a crazy, out of control angle. And he falls back down.

I've tried to help him poop and pee, but sometimes he won't go. He just goes limp. This morning, I found him lying in a pool of his own urine. His tummy hair was sodden. Yesterday, he only ate breakfast with a lot of coaxing; then he wouldn't eat dinner at all last night. Now this morning, he won't eat his breakfast, not even with goopy gravy and that Iam's sauce on it to make it extra yummy. He has never turned down a meal.

I took him outside, and he'd only flop on the ground. He wouldn't poop or pee. And the look in his eyes is devastating.

I need to call the vet and take him down to Doc. But somehow it seems so much like giving up. I feel like the Reaper. Perhaps he could rally, and this is just a really tough spot. Yet net results are all worse. I can't believe how I was complaining last week because he didn't want to negotiate the steps. Now he doesn't want to walk at all.

Man, this sucks really bad.

[Mary Ann]

Well crap. I just talked to Doc, and he said that the prednisone normally gives them a voracious appetite. Timmy has none. Doc says that's indicative of tumors. With a tumor, there's no chance at his age.

You know, you promise yourself that you'll be strong and have the courage to do what's right, and help them cross over when the time comes. But then you think, what's another minute, what's another hour? Maybe tomorrow will be somehow better. Even though you know it won't. One minute melts into the next. Time flows on, and so does the suffering.

I'm gonna go hug my dog, have a good cry with him, then clean up and take him to Doc.

Geez, this bites so bad.

[trigger]

Mary Ann, I am so sorry. Your description sounds so much like my Archie, right before we had to put him down. The look in his eyes told me everything. You are right, it does bite. But he will thank you. ((((((hugs))))))) and prayers for strength coming your way.

[KarenN]

Mary Ann, I am sooo very sorry. Words cannot convey the sorrow I feel for you. No matter how much we "know" it is the right thing to do, our hearts cry so very hard for them. I will say prayers for both you and Timmy

[dianei]

*Making the call*.......it's the one thing that truly sucks about having critters......If we're lucky, they go peacefully in their sleep.......but that doesn't happen often.

For all the joy, the laughter, the unconditional love they give us......it becomes our final duty to let them go with at least a modicum of dignity. Sounds like you've exhausted the possibilities with your guy, MaryAnn.....No, I KNOW you've exhausted the possibilities.

You don't have to be *brave* about it, either.....you may rant at the fates that won't let you keep this soul a bit longer.....and I'll shed some tears along with you, as you let Timmy go over the Bridge.

Vaya con Dios, Timmy.....
Well done, Mary Ann, well done.

[Newfygirl]

Aww, - I'm crying along with you. Please know you have support here. This is your final act of kindness and love for Timmy. This really sucks.

[tlcbouv]

my heart is with you. But he needs to go to a better place. He shouldn't be remembers like this.

It is time.

[Joye]

I'm so sorry to hear that too Mary Ann. We were all hoping it could get better. He had a long Corgi life though, if that is any consolation.

[rhapsody]

Hugs, Mary Ann. I experienced the same feelings you mentioned when I had to make the call for my gelding.

Even after the vet arrived, I tried to convince the vet that Zipp had improved, that he was doing better. Richard was kind but firm when he told me that, on the contrary, Zipp was worse.

It's so hard. My eyes are full of tears right now for you and Timmy and from remembered pain from Zipp.

We are all here for you.

God Bless.

[Marci]

I'm so sorry MaryAnn.
I just recently went thru this myself with my old girl Tabu. Its the eyes that let you know when its time, but don't feel bad about not doing it quick enough or too quick, as long as it was out of love its OK.
You tried everything in your power to keep him with you in the physical but remember he lives on in spirit. He will be there when you feel a brush against your thigh, or a warm breath that blows in your face. Or maybe that butterfly that comes down to say hello. They don't ever leave us they just change form.
I know my first words I heard from Tabu after she crossed over were "I'm Free!" followed closely by a Thank You.

[Dorothy]

I'm crying now as well. It's a good thing I wasn't reading this board during our training class. I'm probably less than a year away from the same decision with Angel, although she is doing well now (thanks to the medications).

I'm sorry you are having to go through this now.

[Frosty M]

I am SO proud of you. It's hard to tear your heart out when you let them go, but it's time. Go with God. He'll be in a better place.
(((HUGS))) and much love sent for your pain.

[AmberC]

Oh Mary Ann, that sucks! I know how hard it is, and I know what you're going through, not that that makes it any easier. I'm thinking of you, and I hope Timmy has a quick, easy passing. I'm sure he's thanking you!
((hugs))

Amber

[Mary Ann]

Oh Marci, you've got me crying again. But your words are so kind, and it helps to hear them in these bittersweet times. On the way down in the car, I told him we'd set him free; and when he feels it, to run from his broken body. I stayed with him. It felt like the right thing to do. Birth and death are holy passages, and I feel we are blessed to attend.

I could see it in his face. He'd stopped pleading, and seemed to understand why we were there. The wistful look was gone, and he seemed to embrace it. And while we waited such a horribly long time for the doctor to come in, he seemed alert and happy, even when his bladder let go all over the counter. He just sort of laid on his side, listening to the other dogs and cats. The sedative brought him peace, and I could see he wanted to go. The trust in his face was heartbreaking.

Thankyou so much, everyone, for you kind words, understanding, and support. We love our animals so very, very much, and it's so hard to send them on, even when keeping them is more cruel. Sometimes I wonder what I'd do without you guys; you're the best sounding board, the most compassionate people, and I'm so grateful to have this soft place to fall.

[Newfygirl]

So Timmy told you that you did the right thing. I think tonite you should have a glass of theraputic merlot (I'll have one as well) and toast to Timmy. He was lucky to have someone who cared enough to let him go and end his suffering.