Ugh, what a day...

[bluemouse]

Erich worked the midnight to 8 AM shift again last night, so he didn't go to church with us. I left stressed because I was running around getting the girls ready while he was lying on the bed watching TV. I asked him to help me get them in the car, and the bonehead said, "How?" Uh, pick her up, carry her out there, put her in her seat! You've done it a thousand times!

Then I get to church, Zoe is crying as we're walking in (and we're late), she stopped when I stuck the bottle in her face, but Gabby was restless and wanted to get down and run. I wouldn't let her, but she kept pushing my limits.

It was my turn in the nursery, so I took the kids back - there are six including my two. Zoe cried through the next 30 minutes of the service until she finally gave up and fell asleep on me. Levi and Sage, two of the kids I was watching, kept yelling for their mothers at the tops of their lungs. Then it was finally over and we all went back up to have communion, at which point Gabby started whingeing and crying all during the prayers. And she WOULDN'T STOP. It's a small church - everyone could hear her. Heck, no one could hear anything BUT her.

I finally gave up and walked out. Reagan, Sage's mom, caught me at the door and hugged me while I cried and told me she'd been there and not to feel bad.

And I'm trying so hard to have faith about the First Street house (the dream house I posted about earlier). The owner can't do owner financing, because she has a note, but said she was very willing to do a lease to own and wants to know how much we can put down.

Uh, try none?

I suppose we could borrow something from my parents, and I think they'd probably be willing to lend it to us, but I don't know if that's what we should do. Not to mention the lady is asking a lot more for it than we can really afford.

I just don't see how it would work. And I know that I need to have faith, but I'm feeling my way blindly along in the dark here, and every step is a trial.

And then I came home to discover that the dog had POOPED in Gabby's bedroom!

Yeah, it's shaping up to be a great day.

[Newfygirl]

Ohhh, it seems like days like that last forever! Don't worry - it will pass! You'll get through it. Its just sooo hard when its happening. It sounds like you have a nice church with understanding parents. You went to church by yourself with two kids! That is something I've never done because I'm not brave enough. You did it! Next time will be better. Smile....

[Chrisnstar]

Oh bluemouse, I know things look bleak now, I was there this fall. but it will get better... remember to BREATHE....

chris

[Frosty M]

I've been there. I know. More (((HUGS))). Do you and DH have an actual budget where you write down everything you spend for a month- find out where your money is going? Then you can make a chart and see what you have left over, what you can afford for new expenses, house, horse boarding, stuff like that. It's a lot better to KNOW in front instead of getting your heart set on having something you can't afford. Once you have a budget you can start saving for extras. It makes you feel less helpless. I'm glad your DH has a job now. Prayers sent.

[wildfire]

It may be painful, but this too, will pass.

Prayers are going up for the guidance needed.

I wish there was more I could do.

[Dorothy]

I agree with the others - hang in there and this will pass!

I second Frosty's question - are you on a written budget? People are usually shocked how much more money they have when they pay attention to it. Little stuff fritters it away SO fast.

I'd be hesitant to borrow from parents unless you know you can repay quickly. There is something about borrowing from parents that gives them a hold in your life and makes all shared family meals taste different.

[Mary Ann]

*applause*

I was wondering when we'd hear from our Meticulous, Methodical Dorothy.

Mouse, they're right, ya know. I third (or fourth) the written cash forecasts. It's a great planning tool, and helps you know where you are, and able to predict where you're going and how you're gonna get there.

[bluemouse]

Thanks, guys. I must apologize for whining so much - I know it must get annoying. I just feel more comfortable here than anywhere else on the Net, and when I'm comfortable I tend to kind of let my emotions go. Sorry...

Anyway, I feel a lot better today. Still don't know what we're going to do, but we're going to try to at least rent the place for now. Erich still needs to redo the budget and see if we'll be able to afford it. Yes, we have a budget, and we do a pretty good job of sticking to it. We're just making a LOT less than we used to be, and it's kinda rough sometimes.

We went house-hunting today - saw some breathtakingly gorgeous scenery in the county and looked at a couple of really cute little houses.

I just got finished with a very cathartic wrestling match with Erich - he kicked my butt, as usual, but it was a lot of fun! ;D He's making me cocoa right now and then we're going to have some Brown Sugar Pound Cake and watch Medium.

I just wish I could hold on to the good times and remember how good they really are when I'm down in the dumps. Maybe you guys can help remind me next time I get depressed.

Thanks again for listening.

[Chrisnstar]

((((((HUGS)))))) girlfriend.......

It's amazing what a person struggles with at your age when kids are little and the money is tight. Then when the kids are grown, you look back on those years with a lot of pride in what you accomplished...

You know, when my boys were little and we lived in teh great north woods, we had an outhouse, cooked and heated with wood stoves, and didnt' have two nickels to rub together most of the time.

but when I look back on it, those were some of the happiest years.

chris

[Mary Ann]

I agree with Chris; they were joyful years. But they were also laced with questions of where we were going, how we were going to get there, and how we were going to make it. It was wonderful, and pretty stressful too. I had such wants, and such fear we were never going to be able to reach them.

We all get down, and we all get scared. Please, rant and whine away! We are incredibly flattered to know you feel safe to do so here. That means you trust us with your feelings; what a wonderful gift to us! (((((HUGS))))) Thankyou, so very much.