Post by trigger on Feb 1, 2005 11:40:56 GMT -5
I am so sorry, this is long. I am at wits end, and so mad I could spit!
Some of you know the story about my “friend” (I use that term loosely) that used to live with us, and now lives across the street. She has definite issues, an eating disorder being one and depression being another, and responsibility being a huge one. I have a dilemma concerning her and am not sure where to go with it.
About 6 years ago, we got two thingyer spaniels from a local breeder/groomer that is a friend of mine. The dogs are aunt/nephew and have been together all of their lives. Honey was for my son, and the other, Jacob, was for L. When she moved to her own place two years ago, directly across from us, the dog went with her. We both have invisible fences of the same brand, so Jacob could still come over and play with Honey and our golden retriever, Sadie.
L. is busy and doesn’t like to be at home much. Jacob spends a great deal of his time at our house. He basically only sleeps at her house, and is in her garage during the day. He is at our house when she’s away, which is often, and he eats at our house as well (we take turns buying food, when she remembers). I don’t mind, because Jacob is a nice dog, and he really wants to be with the other dogs. On the flip side, it is one more dog for us to keep track of, clean up after, take care of….and he really does like her. When she comes home and goes in the house without him, he sits at the end of the driveway and stares across the street.
The problem??? She has been simply awful about watching him. She lets him run across the road without his collar whenever she brings/takes him back and forth. Many times she has brought him over and not bothered to put his collar on, and then he roams around without our knowledge. I have spoken to her about that a number of times. But lately, he has just been running back and forth the minute she lets him out. I told her, and she got new batteries for the collar.
This morning, I saw her garage door go up. Jacob tears across the street to our house. I figured he’d stay. I looked out a few minutes later, and he was roaming up and down the street. Then I saw him almost get hit by the mailman. I ran downstairs and shut him and the others in our garage. I called her, and her phone was busy. He had been out for quite some time, and I hadn’t seen any sign of her.
I finally got through to her and told her Jake was in our garage, that he had almost gotten hit on the road. She says, “WHAT can I do with him?
?” I asked, “Did you check to see if your fence is on? Did you check the collar when you put the new batteries in?” Dead silence on the other end of the phone. I asked again, “Did you check the collar?” She said, “No….” So I said, “There you go.” I told her it’s not Jacob’s fault, he doesn’t know any better (because she has “taught” him it’s ok…but I didn’t go there), and that I didn’t want to see that sweet pup get hit and killed. Then she got VERY angry with me. So I hung up on her!
I have told her he should be on a leash if the collar is off and he is going back and forth. She didn’t listen. She didn’t check the collar. Her fault. She has a history of not giving him his heart worm meds, even though he HAD heartworm two years ago!! I am furious. I want the dog back, either to keep, or to re-home. But is it my place to say so? I cannot, simply cannot sit and watch that dog get killed or hurt because of her lack of ability to take care of him. But she and I have a rocky history…she thinks I want to control her and manipulate her….so that makes it even more touchy.
What do you think? I probably already know, but I need to
Some of you know the story about my “friend” (I use that term loosely) that used to live with us, and now lives across the street. She has definite issues, an eating disorder being one and depression being another, and responsibility being a huge one. I have a dilemma concerning her and am not sure where to go with it.
About 6 years ago, we got two thingyer spaniels from a local breeder/groomer that is a friend of mine. The dogs are aunt/nephew and have been together all of their lives. Honey was for my son, and the other, Jacob, was for L. When she moved to her own place two years ago, directly across from us, the dog went with her. We both have invisible fences of the same brand, so Jacob could still come over and play with Honey and our golden retriever, Sadie.
L. is busy and doesn’t like to be at home much. Jacob spends a great deal of his time at our house. He basically only sleeps at her house, and is in her garage during the day. He is at our house when she’s away, which is often, and he eats at our house as well (we take turns buying food, when she remembers). I don’t mind, because Jacob is a nice dog, and he really wants to be with the other dogs. On the flip side, it is one more dog for us to keep track of, clean up after, take care of….and he really does like her. When she comes home and goes in the house without him, he sits at the end of the driveway and stares across the street.
The problem??? She has been simply awful about watching him. She lets him run across the road without his collar whenever she brings/takes him back and forth. Many times she has brought him over and not bothered to put his collar on, and then he roams around without our knowledge. I have spoken to her about that a number of times. But lately, he has just been running back and forth the minute she lets him out. I told her, and she got new batteries for the collar.
This morning, I saw her garage door go up. Jacob tears across the street to our house. I figured he’d stay. I looked out a few minutes later, and he was roaming up and down the street. Then I saw him almost get hit by the mailman. I ran downstairs and shut him and the others in our garage. I called her, and her phone was busy. He had been out for quite some time, and I hadn’t seen any sign of her.
I finally got through to her and told her Jake was in our garage, that he had almost gotten hit on the road. She says, “WHAT can I do with him?
?” I asked, “Did you check to see if your fence is on? Did you check the collar when you put the new batteries in?” Dead silence on the other end of the phone. I asked again, “Did you check the collar?” She said, “No….” So I said, “There you go.” I told her it’s not Jacob’s fault, he doesn’t know any better (because she has “taught” him it’s ok…but I didn’t go there), and that I didn’t want to see that sweet pup get hit and killed. Then she got VERY angry with me. So I hung up on her! I have told her he should be on a leash if the collar is off and he is going back and forth. She didn’t listen. She didn’t check the collar. Her fault. She has a history of not giving him his heart worm meds, even though he HAD heartworm two years ago!! I am furious. I want the dog back, either to keep, or to re-home. But is it my place to say so? I cannot, simply cannot sit and watch that dog get killed or hurt because of her lack of ability to take care of him. But she and I have a rocky history…she thinks I want to control her and manipulate her….so that makes it even more touchy.
What do you think? I probably already know, but I need to
