Jacob is happy....

[dl]

We gutted his room. It has been too frustrating, trying to clean and organize it. There was too much stuff in it and it would just go back to being the way it was. One of the things they always say for kids with his kind of processing and executive functioning disorder is to make everything neat and organized because they can't handle the distraction. So, while Jacob was at boy scout camp, I started taking everything out and storing it in the aviary. I got most of it done before he got back, but not all of it. I knew that involving him in the process would be more frustrating than I could handle. I knew there would be tears and breakdowns and I wanted to avoid that as much as possible. When he got home, we still had a few hours work to get done on it and even that brought tears and frustration. But we got through it. Everything is clean and orderly. He has some of his favorite things displayed, but most of his stuff is stored. I figure that when he gets used to keeping his room clean this way, then we can add more stuff. It's not like he has time to play with it anyway because the summer has been so busy.

So I wasn't sure if he would be sad and hate me or if he would feel like there was a weight off his shoulders. Turns out that by the next day he was over the mad and sad feelings and seems to definitely be on the "weight off the shoulders" side. He has been vacuuming when stuff gets on the floor and putting his pairs of socks together when they are clean. He's been making his bed. He's been taking care of stuff right away instead of shoving it in his room to put away later. He's been a lot less moody. I'm hoping that we can keep this going long enough to make a bit of a habit out of it. I'm excited about it and he seems much happier. I've tossed around the thought of doing that for a while, but never have. It seemed like maybe that would be going too far. But it's worked out really well, so I'm glad I finally did.

We finished this on Saturday. Today we went through two of the bags of stuff I stored and threw almost everything away. There is a BIG difference between taking something out of the room and putting something in. The first is a "letting go" thing, which is hard. The second is a "possibly messing up my great place over some trinkets" thing.

[Idaho Linda]

Big smile here!

[Frostym]

Yay! This is a great gift you have given Jacob. It's awesome that he's taking it over and making being organized and tidy his own. Good job!

I was never able to do this for my boys but their dad did. They've said organizing their belongings was one of the best things
they learned from him. My son gently encourages me to stay neat and tidy and it's working!

[dl]

Frostym, I am TERRIBLE at organizational skills. When Jacob was 3 and broke his leg, I wanted to use the time I was staying around the house to get more organized and I discovered Flylady. That helped a LOT. I use a lot of techniques that I learned from her. But she emphasizes just starting where you are and spending 15 minutes a day "decluttering". I had been trying to do this with the kids and it did help some, but it was too easy to totally destroy the 15 minutes of accomplishment. Especially with a kid who could take 15 minutes to decide what to do with one item. I think that the 15 minutes a day is a much preferred way to accomplish the clean-up and I really didn't want to do it this way. But I also wanted it done in time to get used to keeping a clean room before school started. So I was running out of time.

[Frostym]

Ha! I'm a Flylady fan-atic. (Or for anyone who might want to try this- flylady.com). When we downsized to the farm and a single-wide trailer (to live in- there are two other nice sized buildings on the property), we moved out of a house that was so big it took me three full days to clean it. I grew to seriously hate housework. The trailer was so small and easy I began to let it go, not dusting for a year, for instance. My DH was patient with me and our sons were grown and gone but I knew i needed to change but didn't know how. Flylady's enthusiasm for "keeping house," not just cleaning it struck a huge chord with me. i couldn't stop cleaning. It was wonderful! My biggest hurdle was to realize that I had to put in the hours once a week to clean our home thoroughly, but learning to call it "blessing the house," instead of "$#@#$% this house!" changed my attitude forever.
Keeping the kitchen sink clean, "swishing" through the bathrooms daily, not letting the "hot spots" (places clutter collects) last longer than a few minutes makes "keeping house" all but effortless. It's lovely not to live in CHAOS (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome).

I commend you on your "Slash and Burn" technique for getting a handle on Jacob's room. That's the technique my DH used when my boys were small and it worked. Cleanliness and order are such a huge relief to live in, but you have to be a certain age for it to make a difference. My DIL is a great housekeeper but with a four year old and a three month old even she is overwhelmed now.
Maybe if you help Jacob establish order in his room every night before bed, that simple habit will take root in him and really help. Have you checked out the Flylady section for kids? It is excellent. Any way, good job! You had a "I'm overwhelmed" post recently. To me getting the house clean and orderly and a list of other chores that need to be done is a good start to losing the too much do blues. (((HUGS))) and congrats for making progress. That's how we do it, one clean sink at a time!!!

[dl]

I board birds for people when they are on vacation. Usually we have 1 or 2 boarders in the house. Sometimes we have 5 or 6. Right now we have 12. Usually I would just have them in the living room and we would walk around them for the few days that we are crowded. But, since Jacob's room is clean, "his" macaw will fit nicely in his bedroom and he still has room to walk around. He is very excited about having his bird in his room! That was an unexpected reward!

[Trailpal]

Maybe some incentive?

[Frostym]

That is so cool! Unexpected rewards.